Coffee and cannabis are best buds. Even squirrel monkeys love the combination. Scientists conducted a study in which they gave squirrel monkeys a lever to pull to get high on THC through an intravenous device; the monkeys pulled the lever a lot. Then scientists gave the monkeys MSX-3, a water-soluble substitution for caffeine. They discovered the monkeys pulled the THC lever less with MSX-3, because the caffeine combined with THC gave them the same high in fewer pulls of the lever. Basically, caffeine pairs with THC to get you high by consuming less weed than if you were ingesting weed by itself. It makes sense, because both interact with the endocannabinoid system to get you where you want to be: buzzed and abuzz.
In January 2021, Amsterdam’s Mayor Femke Halsema proposed a plan to ban tourists from the city’s coffeeshops. Stoners, it’s time to bring that caffeine jolt and cannabis joint to your home.
Rise And Grind
Cannabis-infused coffee may not get you high as quick as you’d like it to. Caffeine can get you up and going faster than THC, which in edible form can take 60 minutes or longer to kick in as it works its way through your digestive system and liver. You could be feeling energized from the caffeine, but the cannabis side of the coin won’t hit at the same time. It sucks. But now, the Cryopharm cannabis company has created a fast-acting cup of Joe that will get you where you want to be in only 15-20 minutes (or roughly 45-60 TikToks).
Cryopharm is “revolutionizing the way people use cannabis in their everyday lives with recognizable brands and unique experiences,” the website says. It claims Cryopharm’s proprietary technology is disrupting the cannabis space with brands like Kushtabs chews, low-dose Marbl Melts, Zenstix chewable tablets, their award-winning Kali Juice drink mix, and, of course, their Cafe Maria instant coffee—all effective, great-tasting, and zero-calorie.
These are the world’s only pTerostilbene-based THC products. pTerostilbene is a natural dietary compound most commonly found in blueberries. It’s an all-natural antioxidant that increases bioavailability (how much of the good stuff you get), and is linked to preventing neurological and cardiovascular disorders. Who wouldn’t want to start their day with instant coffee that harnesses all these health benefits?
We Love To Wake & Bake — It’s Time To Joe & Flow
Cryopharm has taken its time getting Cafe Maria right. The packaging is low-environmental impact cardboard. The Columbian coffee is all-natural (no artificial color or flavors). And, the dosing of 5 mg of Sativa THC per serving means you can start low and slow to see how it affects you before getting so elevated you need a nap before your day begins.
The canna-coffee comes in packs of five single-serving instant pouches, like Starbucks or Folgers… only way better. A cup is simple to make: heat water, pour a packet of Cafe Maria into a cup, add hot water, enjoy. Cafe Maria invites you to: “Start your morning with a blissful, anxiety-free cup and head into a day full of inspiration.” Invitation accepted.
I’m a coffee addict. I love a fresh pot of joe, and I love yesterday’s dregs. I love a “bad decision” cup at 6pm that keeps me up until sunrise. So I was stoked to try this coffee pot (hehehe). It ruled. I felt like I was in a commercial. Standing at my apartment window, holding the cup in two hands, I enjoyed its fresh, toasty aroma. Taking that first sip, hoping it would hit all the notes I love. It did. It tasted great; nutty and slightly acidic, warming my entire body as I swallowed. A few minutes later my eyes perked up, and my brain turned on.
The only mistake in Cafe Maria was my own. I added too much water to the cup. For maximum flavor, impact, and enjoyment, a shorter cup will hit you right—try a 4-ounce pour.
The high was buzzy, and only took 16 minutes and 44 seconds to kick in. I timed it for science. I want to feel electric in the morning so I can tackle my day with efficient clarity. Cafe Maria got me there. If you’re not a daily cannabis consumer like myself, savor this sip on a Sunday while you unwind. Any time is the right time for Cafe Maria cannabis infused coffee.